I have been reading the gospel of Matthew in my heart tending times in the mornings over the past weeks.  I usually read a section of the Jesus story and then spend time dialoguing with it, meditating on it, and looking for intersections points with my life.  I was reminded of an important aspect of tending to the heart in chapter 17.

The first part of the chapter records the events surrounding the Transfiguration.  Jesus goes off to a mountain with three of his close disciples.  Matthew is not explicit in the purpose of their solitude but Luke adds that the goal of this little retreat was prayer.  Somehow in that experience the glory of God rested on Jesus with light.  And then God spoke from the cloud of glory, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.  Listen to Him!”  This was the second time that Jesus gets this type of message from heaven.  At his baptism, he was confirmed as the son who was loved (Matthew 3:17).

In recent years the disciplines of inner healing and soul care have become more developed.  We have learned how wounds to our inner person (the heart) have a way of impacting our sense of self and our interaction with others.  Many times the most significant wounds come early in childhood or in adolescence and they impact our spiritual and social development long into adulthood. However, as we have become aware of these wounds, we have also learned how to apply the blood of Jesus to the soul wounds so that they have less impact in our present daily lives.

One wound that is often referred to is the father wound.  We all grow up with certain needs from our earthly fathers – protection, expressed love in a language that resonates with our heart, intimacy, forgiveness, and so on.  Our earthly fathers are just that – earthly fathers.  They do their best out of their own sense of well being and health to give us the love that we need.  For some of us, we get what we need or enough that the weaker aspects of our father’s love do not negatively impact us.  For others, the experience is not so good.

There are multiple results of earthly father wounds, one of which, is that it impacts our perception of our Heavenly Father.  Sometimes the things that the Bible tell us about God – that He protects, that He is expressing love to us, that he wants to be intimate with us, He is forgiving, good, not harsh, and so on – do not lodge in our hearts because we missed them in the earthly version.

So I go back to the Jesus story.  I have often wondered why the Father needed to express his love verbally to Jesus at two distinctive times.  Was it related to the question of his legitimacy as a son of Joseph?  “Sure Jesus, your mother was a virgin.”  Was it related to another weaknesses in the role of Joseph as earthly father?  We will never really know – it is all conjecture.  But what it tells me is that if Jesus, born without sin, lives without sin and with a clearly defined purpose, needs such a strong affirmation, how much more do I need it!

Now I was blessed.  I had an earthly father that gave me the foundation of love that makes it easier for me to hear the Father’s expression of love.  I also have had some surrogate fathers who have stepped into my life along the road – sports coaches and life mentors who spoke God’s affirmation into my heart.  But I have spoken with so many people who still carry a father wound that plays out in their sense of well being daily.  Discovery of this wound is not a shameful thing.  We do not go out looking to be wounded.  Discovery offers us the opportunity to seek healing.  And when healing comes to that place it takes away a barrier toward the next stage of spiritual and social growth.

So in reading this blog, maybe something triggered in you that causes you to wonder if you have a soul wound – even a father wound – that needs some healing.  So what is the next step?  Sometimes reading can give us insight.  I recommend the following two books:

            Jack Frost, Experiencing Father’s Embrace.

            Brennan Manning, Abba’s Child.

Frost  is more analytical and describes what is going on in the search for Father love.  Manning wrestles more with the longings of the heart to be connected in intimate belonging.  I recommend reading Frost first and Manning second.

You can take some of the principles of these books and apply them to your own life.  Sometimes our wounds are surface and can be treated easily.  However, sometimes they are deeper you may discover that you need someone to help you process.  Find a pastor or friend in your area that understands soul care.  Find a church that has healing prayer teams (Stanwich Church if you are in the CT area). 

It can be scary to go to such a place of vulnerability.  But the end result is worth the risk – unlocking our heart’s ears to hear the Heaven Father declare –

this is my son, this is my daughter,

whom I love, and in whom I am well pleased. 

So may you have the courage necessary and find the resources close at hand to tend to the wounds of your heart!